It's all over but the Healing

Last radiation treatment was yesterday. Hooray! There was a nice little celebration of hugs all 'round and a gift of a cute little guardian angel pin for my hat. The radiation staff is a really nice and fun group, and they made showing up for treatments actually pleasant. I will miss seeing them each day.
I will still see Dr H and the nurses for followups. Yesterday they all agreed I had come through the process admirably. This has very little to do with what I have done, and everything to do with the fact that God has blessed me with a strong mind and body from the get-go. All the glory goes to Him.

The Healing - - - it will be a long, slow process. I am amazed at how much I am sleeping. I am not in pain, thanks to morphine. I eagerly await the time I can be rid of it though. On re-reading the info that comes with the Rx, I noticed it causes nausea, and nausea is back. Just low-grade urpy-ness, just as before the hospital, but definitely irritating. They gave me something for it while I was in the hosp, but it wasn't one of the meds I have on hand here, so I'm leaving it untreated for now. Just want to be rid of the stuff, so I can drive, as well as not feel urpy & constipated.

So - I am coveting your prayers for patience with the healing process! I can't make it happen faster. Ointments and creams can't make it happen faster. Only God 'makes' it happen. Our Creator, creating new healthy cells in my beat-up body. Quite miraculous, when you think about it. Thank you, Lord, for your mercy and grace.

Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths;

Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.

Remember, O Lord, your great mercy and love, for they are from of old.

Psalm 25:4-6

Home

Arrived here at around 2pm, by way of Fred Meyer for some miscellaneous purchases of stuff for my comfort and ease of activities of daily living.
Just like unpacking from a trip, stuff needed to be sorted and put away.
Then - a lovely nap.
Then, a meal, watched the news of the hurricane, and a Monk episode.
Day just flew by.
Now - bedtime!
Feeling very much better than I did when I was last here. Probably better than I have felt in two or three weeks.
Falling asleep. More later.

Goin' home tomorrow

Finally everything is sorted out. Mainly I had to wait for a bm to happen. I had not had one for awhile, and the docs wanted to be sure all was working properly in that area. Now it is.
It's just a bit late to hustle out of here right now, so they are letting me stay over until the morning. The date stamp on this blog is early afternoon, but it's being updated now - at five in the afternoon. Now, just one more evening/night here, then back to the real world, in significantly better condition than when I left.

More (optional) treatments
After today's treatment I met with Dr. H. He said all is looking good. If, however, I would like to take two more treatments on Monday/Tuesday, my cure rate could go from 90% to, maybe 92%. (beats me where they get stats like that, but that's what I have to work with). The treatments would be as an out patient and he said it was entirely up to me to take them or not.
My first reaction was to pass. It just didn't look like that good a return on my investment of time and effort.
Then I went back to my room to have a post treatment nap. As I relaxed, it came to me that I should do all I can to optimize cure chances. I would hate for this thing to come back on me after not doing all I could do at this point.
I can hear Sam and Jennifer going, 'Yay Mom - go for it, we love you!'
Also, I have been given the gift of being able to tolerate the treatments, now that I'm put back together. I will honor that by continuing on, doing all modern radiology knows to do for my condition.

Please pray as you are lead that God will bless these final treatments and the healing processes, both now and in the coming weeks.

Resting and Healing in Room 501

I've been here for two and one half days, and it is probable I will be here for another two and a half.
For this I am grateful beyond words. I was dreading being kicked out and sent home to continue bumbling along with self care and commuting to treatments. Now I have assurance that I will continue to get monitored and cared for until after the final treatment on Friday. I can get my questions answered right away, sometimes before I ask. I can rest and sleep and, as I said before, the bathroom is less than 10 feet away.
Really, I have no other thoughts to share tonight, just my constant feeling of gratitude for this hospital stay in this lovely quiet room with the beautiful view, and the vigilant care and continual encouragement from the staff here.
Without this, the remaining treatment process would indeed be brutal. As it is, it is entirely manageable.
I would ask everyone to join me in an unfathomably huge prayer of thanksgiving for these mercifully pleasant circumstances. And, let's not forget to ask God to go before me, healing me from the treatments, and allowing the treatments to be thoroughly effective in eradicating all cancer from my body.

I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples.

For great is your love, reaching to the heavens; your faithfuylness reaches to the skies.

Be exalted, O God, above the heavens; let your glory be over all the earth.

Psalm 57:9-11

The News from Providence St. V., Room 501

Yep. I'm hangin' in the hospital, gettin' all fixed up.
Just couldn't face starting rad treatments again while feeling so very debilitated.
Rad Doctor agreed, so, after my treatment (now only four left,) I checked in here.
Very glad I did.
Needed more electrolytes/Potassium.
Had low grade bladder infection that needed treating.
Got professional burn care, and some helpful advice on self care, and a new dandy prescription ointment.
Got vague nausea feelings controlled.
And the bathroom is only 10 feet away.
Hmm. Did I mention cable TV? Got to watch some cable only little league games between naps. Lovely.
Pleasant view of the west hills. Sky and trees. Don't think I'll need to close the blinds, just like at home.
Good comfort food. Not the way of choice for lifetime eating, but perfect for now.
Oh, and would you believe, the painters were back, this time at the front, so I effectively escaped them yet again.
Special note to Becky, Carolyn and Sharon - Guess who my nurse is? Remember dear sweet Bjorn? Well, he's just as sweet as ever, and says hello to you all. The rest of the staff is really nice and good at their jobs.
And that, friends, is the news from Providence St. V., 501

Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

Fear the Lord, you his saints, for those who fear him lack nothing.

The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.

Psalm 34:8-10

I'm Back from an Adventure that Ends with a Blessing

It's been so long, my blog forgot who I am!
It's been an unexpected four days.
I expected days of peace and healing for my rad ravaged butt.
On Tuesday I slept. I had expected I would be doing a bit more than that, but, not.
Wednesday began with a a pre dawn "eruption" from below as the pill to counteract the constipating effect of morphine took effect. Gaaaaah.
Then the condo painters arrived at my unit, with their plastic to cover my windows, and their (rather loud) Spanish language radio.
And I was off to Oncology to give them some blood to check to see if I was OK. (Routine procedure.)
Guess I just came home and slept some more, painters and their radio not withstanding.
Thursday I was barely up and about when I got a call from Oncology. They said I was dehydrated and needed to come in and get fluids. ??? I had been so carefully drinking water . .  ?? Oh. Potassium. Electrolytes. Kidney functions.. Time to ditch the Ibuprofen and switch to Tylenol. Also, who knew, diarrhea is a big drain on electrolytes. And, this probably accounts for being so very tired.
So, with biggest thanks to my team of drivers, I had a ride in place within the hour. Ended up getting four hours worth of potassium infusion. (How long it takes is governed by how many units per hour may be infused.) My driver went back to work, and I settled down to a restful, all be it unexpected and unplanned, mid-day stay chez St. Vincent Oncology Infusion.
It is actually quite a lovely and peaceful room, with panoramic windows looking out on trees, comfy recliners, available and friendly staff, and no TV.
And now I must make my long story short, as I am running out of gas.
Today I went back for more, and I actually was quite happy to, for these very two days the painters had my house entirely sealed up in plastic, and were working very hard with their radio going loud and strong. When I came home, the plastic was off, and they were leaving for the day, taking their radio with them.
Scriptures abound reminding us of how our God works in just such amazing ways, but I must leave them for another day. Please, just join me in a prayer of thanksgiving for yet another demonstration of God's care for each one of us!

Tweaks. Good Tweaks.

It's Monday. Time again for the weekly tweaks.
Doc.'s decided that I need another week off.
I was suspecting as much, but was way happy to learn that:

1. It is entirely in the purview of normal to have chemo healing take this long, especially after round #2.
2. It is not unusual to pause radiation treatments for two weeks.
3. It does not change the cure rate in any way.

So, I have another week off. And, this time, I think the chemo effects are abating, although not with the speed of last time. Hoping to for a week of improvement.
I can offer this bit: at present we are not experiencing brutal.

Gonna get through this. Really.
The Lord walks before me every step.

Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.

Galatians 5:25

Praise

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty,

I will say to the Lord, "My refuge and my fortress, My God, in whom I trust!"

Psalm 91:1-2

I do not check my 'baggage' at the door. I sit with every doubt, every fear, every ukkie. I welcome His presence, by His Holy Spirit, allowing it to wash over me, to seep into me, and to infuse me with quiet comfort and, even, joy.

For this, I praise my God today.

My Newest Job

My big job in life now is to be sure I get my 2 to 3 quarts of liquid inside of me each day.
This has not been easy lately, because, more often than not, drinking hurts.
A log must be kept.
I have finally learned to keep an accurate and contemporaneous one.
It reveals that it often takes me as many a five hours to consume a mere 20 oz of fluid.
We blame pain for this. We blame morphine for this. Pain interference is obvious.
So we take a break. And catch some zz's And have strange morphine dreams.
Waking up, startled, we say, that is NOT real - that is one of those dreams.
We drink again, and gear up for the next shot, sleeping, dreaming, waking for the next drink.
But, you never know. I prayed for relief, and just downed 12 oz in 1/2 hour.
Now just 8 oz of rice dream before bed, and I have made quota!
Now that I think I've got it right, maybe the mouth sores will start to lighten up. It's been seven days now.

Very timely, I picked up a little book called, "31 Days of Praise" by Ruth Myers which had been a room gift at Lake's women's retreat in 2001. (My first one!)
Hope to be sharing some of Mrs. Myers' thoughts and the Scriptures that inspire her soon.

Hangin'

Just not excited to post.
Morphine knocks the sutffin' out of yer brain.
I tried skipping a dose (the bedtime one) last night. It was not a successful experiment.
It is a challenge to get focused to do activities of daily living, never mind proactive things.
Another contributing factor is that the mouth sores are not going away. On the contrary, they seem worse.

A voice says, "Cry out." And I said, "What shall I cry?"

All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field.

The grass withers and the flowers fall, because the breath of the Lord blows on them. Surely the people are grass.

The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever.

Isaiah 40:6-8

Bright

Well, folks, you will  be happy to hear that even brutality has its limits!
Seems my butt is ragged enough to warrant a break - a five day (counting the weekend) break!
The Doc says I should feel much better and should be able to tolerate the last FIVE treatments, Monday Aug. 15 through Friday Aug. 19.
Again, the psychological effect is great. I have been feeling relieved and happy. I seem to have a bit more energy - mental and physical - chemo effects abating? Sooner than expected?
Whatever. The future actually is looking and feeling . . . bright!
God is merciful. I can actually expect to tolerate the final treatments, as I continue to trust God to carry me through.

Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths, 

guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior and my hope is in you all day long.

Remember, O Lord, your great mercy and love, for they are from of old.

Psalm 25:4-6

Helpers and Puzzles!

The best news! I asked for help. For drivers. They were arranged, coordinated, and all communications were accomplished. All I did was say 'help!'. What a blessing to have friends at the ready who will not only serve but figure out the administrative details of how to do it! Thanks, friends - you know who you are. I'm looking forward to a little visiting time!

Otherwise, I am resting a lot, and resting comfortably. Sleeping, and indulging in my latest online discovery - free jigsaw puzzles. At last, I don't have to deal with a rambunctious cat when I do them! And they are easy on the grandma/chemo/morphine brain. You even get to choose how many pieces you want to use, and there is a seemingly endless supply of interesting pictures. I've been to the alps, and to castles, and cottages. Most recently, a trio of charming "bat winged" pumpkins sitting on someone's porch. Certainly I never know there was such a thing. They just looked like gourds to me. This afternoon I came home from treatment, went to sleep on the couch for two hours, woke up, and did puzzles for another two hours. The cat didn't move either.

Moving is a bit of a different story, but, fortunately, I don't need to do a lot of that, and it is endurable as long as I remember to keep on top of my meds.

God Bless you all. May your prayers and warm thoughts be richly rewarded, far beyond the deep gratitude I am feeling for you and them.

Seek the Lord where he may be found; call on him while he is near.

Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts.

Let him turn to the Lord and he will have mercy on him, and our God will freely pardon.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, 

neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord.

"As the heavens are higher than the earth, 

so are my ways higher than your ways 

and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Isaiah 55:6-9

Take That, All You Ukkies!

This morning at 5AM I could barely swallow 8 oz of water with my thyroid pill.
Vowed, when I got out of bed, I would have me a bit of morphine.
Slept until 8. Hurting, crept to the kitchen where the meds are and got me a dose.
Well, I have never done this before. I am very curious about what will happen.
And, helper crew, it looks like I will need drivers! (Will send separate email,)
It will be fun to see some of you, especially if I am 'feeling no pain'. . .

Slept all morning. Tried to drink water, but it still hurt.
So when morphine came due again I upped the dose to .4ml. (Max is .5ml, starter dose was .25ml) This seems to work. Not ready for solid food (it hurts to clean the particles out of my teeth), but a bottle of ensure went down fine, water not so good (odd, and annoying) but endurable. Now I'm ready for some rice dream.
So the afternoon is going a bit better.

Perhaps the mouth sores are as bad as my butt will be in a week, but by then the mouth sores should be about as bad as my butt is now. OK, with God and the tool he has provided, morphine, I will get through this! Praise his glorious Name.

Hangin' with the Ukkies

If     I     stay     absolutely     still,     nothing hurts much.

It also helps if you remember to take your ibuprofen on time.
I forgot a whole dose, and whimpered around miserably all afternoon, wondering how I was going to survive a week of chemo effects and 7 more rad zaps.
I keep a log of what meds I've taken when, and lo and behold, the afternoon dose of ibuprofen wasn't there.
So now, I feel a lil' bit perkier.
But there is absolutely nothing you can do with mouth sores, except endure them.

Thanks again for all your good wishes, prayers, and offers for help, and for your newsy emails. Keep those coming! I'm not up to answering them all at present, but I do appreciate them very much!
I'm not really wanting visitors now because the mouth sores hurt to talk, (and so does my brain, to a lesser extent) and I have bought ahead on food and supplies. I am managing minimal activities of daily living. The hardest, as we just saw, is keeping track of the meds. The cat gets cared for, and I eat (sort of), drink, and take meds. For today, all needs are met!

Thanks be to God.

Re-entering the Land of the Ukkies.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

Psalm 23:1

Chemo brain. Just can't seem to make the thing go very easily.
Mouth sores. Are baaack. Not very bad, but I'm not happy to see them back, even a little bit.
Tired.
Slightly urpy. (nauseous). Good news. I didn't take any med for it, and now it seems to be going away.

PICC line and pump go away tomorrow, but, if side effects follow last time, they have only just begun.
Do not like.

To all who have written lately, I hope to get back to you all.  I so appreciate your thoughts, your sharings, and your prayers.

He makes me lie down in green pastures, 

he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.
Psalm 23:2-3

The News from the Couch

Praise God, Yes! I am doin' alright!
Starting to walk a little like a cowboy with saddle sores.
Drinkin' lots of water. If I drink, I don't feel urpy from the chemo.
Would really like to avoid the anti nausea meds. We'll see.
Tired. Quite tired.
This afternoon I had the ball game (Mariners) on the radio and just lay there listening.
Then I woke up as the last out was made.They won.
I am quite comfortable, actually, as long as I stay on the couch and don't move.
Moving is OK, just not fun.
And that's today's news from the couch.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.

Ecclesiastes 3:1

Two Positives!

Chemo: When I get my infusion pump taken off on Friday, I also get to have my PICC line removed. You may remember (big points for you if you do!) that this is a device that allows blood to be drawn, and blood and other fluids to be given, as well as the cancer drugs. Since it is not anticipated that I will need extra blood or fluids, and the cancer drugs will be done (whoop), the device will be removed. It is installed on my upper arm, and the biggest bother about it is that I must forgo showers. Baths only. So hooray. Back in the shower again on Friday!

Radiation: Doc H. continues to be very happy with my progress and how I am tolerating the treatments. (Thank you God, as this has absolutely nothing to do with anything I have done. If I must be given cancer, I can only be grateful that I am also given the ability to tolerate the treatments.) The news: He has reduced my planned number of treatments by two. That, to me, is huge! It means 10 to go, instead of 12. It means I have entered the final (allegedly brutal) third of treatment. Expected completion date is now August 16, (Happy b'day, Heidi!), just two weeks from today!

Overall, both chemo and radiation effects continue to be tolerable. Again, I am overwhelmed with gratitude to my God.
It's a pleasant summer evening. After I get this posted, I believe I will make a quick run down the hill to fetch some Aloe Vera Gel - I'm nearly out, and pick up a Jamba Juice treat.

And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

To our God and Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen

Philippians 4:19-20

Heeeere We Go . . . Again -

Chemo #2 (of 2) is underway. Little cells under attack again. For now, nothing has started bothering me. Drinking copious quantities of water, so the twitches and twinges from Chemo #1 (I peeked at my blog about it!) have not been noticeable. Instead - how odd is this - hot flashes. Two of them. What ever - they're painless.

Also had Rad-Zap #20. Most likely there are 13 to go. No issues from radiation today. Runs seem to have calmed, for the moment.

Spending a lazy evening - I probably should have worked some, and, alternatively, answered a couple of long emails I've been putting off, but doing Sudoku puzzles and listening to the Mariners win won out. Game almost over and bedtime coming up. All things considered, a decent day! Thanks be to God. Thank you, Pray-ers.

In you, O Lord, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame.

Rescue me and deliver me in your righteousness; turn your ear to me and save me.

Be my rock of refuge, to which I can always go;

Give the command to save me, for you are my rock and my fortress.

Psalm 71:1-3